Sim, quem me conhece sabe que eu só diria “eu desisto” numa situação extrema ou de forma irônica, o que me faria ter mais motivação em continuar no desafio até conseguir concluir. É quando a coisa se torna “pessoal”, sabe? Contudo, agora, eu realmente desisto. Mas não desisto de qualquer coisa, to desistindo do meu instinto, to desistindo da negação e do controle. Eu desisto de me segurar e não tornar isso aqui realmente um diário. Porque, no fim do dia, tudo que eu realmente mais quero é ter onde escrever tudo aquilo que observei, pensei ou mirabolei, mas acabei não podendo contar pra alguém ou simplesmente só queria ter tido a chance de ser lido ouvido. É aqui onde, a partir de agora, farei pequenas confissões e dissertarei sobre meus sentimentos, meus pensamentos e minha alma. Quero, de uma vez por todas, poder dar utilidade ao título deste blog sem ter que ser tão óbvio ou raso. Quero poder escrever, ser lido e, talvez, não ser compreendido, porque é o que penso e o que penso não necessariamente precisa de compreensão. Coesão e coerência são tão facilmente confundidos com mistério que não quero realmente saber se estou certo ou não, só sei que é assim e ponto. Às vezes acredito que por muitas vezes somos sinceros em tudo aquilo que dizemos, mas outras, queria profundamente que a sinceridade fosse aceita da melhor forma, sem ter que magoar ninguém além de mim, uma vez que já conheço a origem de tudo que vem de mim e não me importo, já que sinto isso. Penso que ainda está para nascer pessoa com tanto âmbito de convívio social quanto eu, capaz de querer esquecer de tudo e de todos só pra poder preservar tudo que já acumulei durante todos esses míseros e poucos anos de existência nessa terra de hostilidade e crueldade, que faz eu me apaixonar por cada pequena e boba ação que pudera demonstrar o resto de amor que vive dentro de cada um de nós e que não somos capazes de ver mais além do que achamos que somos. Aquilo que acho que sou não é nem um terço do que gostaria de ser, mas talvez seja mais do que quisesse que as pessoas vissem, me fazendo parecer, aos seus olhos, maior do que sou de fato. É tudo uma questão de desistir de entender ou não abrir mão da desistência.
Querido Diário #0 – Eu desisto!
Sobre mim
Opa, tudo bom?
Sou o Robson Ugo Souza, um cara legal meio “tio-do-pavê” que curte a felicidade nas coisas simples e com o dobro de açúcar. Formado em TI pela UFRPE e ator (DRT 4554/PE), sou de Hellcife (ou Raincife, depende do dia) morando atualmente em São Paulo e tenho esse projeto de blog desde antes de 2012, onde tento escrever alguns de meus textos, falar das coisas que gosto e manter um vínculo afetivo com meu eu de uns 10 anos atrás que adorava os bloggers.
Fica por aqui, vai ter bolo 🎂
147 thoughts on “Querido Diário #0 – Eu desisto!”
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